We have social stand-ups on Zoom once a week at my job, just a place to connect with each other and talk about something that isn’t work for at least 30 minutes. I really enjoy that time, especially since we’re remote. It’s nice to have a little point of connection. Usually, the conversation revolves around a prompt and as expected at the start of the year, today’s prompt was: Describe your 2023 goals in 3 words.
One thing about me is that New Year’s is my absolute favorite holiday. I’m not a religious person, I don’t like exchanging gifts, and I’m not that patriotic, so most of the other holidays are a miss for me. I love a fresh start, and I take my New Year’s resolutions super seriously every year. I also try to get all of my favorite people in the world to gather in one place to watch the ball drop with me and pop a bottle (or two). There’s something so magical about all of us being in the same place at the same time when the calendar turns. It feels like liminal space that belongs just to all of us.
I know it’s trendy now to be apathetic and cool, and to not be too sincere. God forbid someone finds out you’re a human being. But for me, I feel so much joy and love and catharsis every time a new year begins. It’s like my brain resets, and all the insecurity and negativity of the previous year rolls off of me into the ether. Now, the last couple of years have been exceptions to this — for reasons that I assume are obvious. My New Year’s resolutions in 2021 and 2022 were simply to survive another year.
I barely achieved that in 2021, truly one of the worst years of my life (and I got dumped in 2019 after a 5 year long partnership, so that’s saying something). But 2022 has been one of my best years yet. I made a big career shift where I’m thriving, I finally moved out of an apartment and into a house, I met some of my heros, I launched my consulting website, I wrote and read a whole bunch, and I even got engaged! All the same challenges existed this year as in 2020 and 2021, but I realized what’s different is me. So, shout out 2022 for the reset and allowing me to enter into 2023 with a clear mind and a full heart.
So, back to that prompt: my 2023 goals in 3 words.
- Time.
I love to waste my own time. I waste my time at work but prioritizing everyone else’s projects and deadlines and needs and concerns, giving myself very little uninterrupted space for creativity. I waste my time at home by stressing about work. I find myself in a freeze state pretty often when I’m off the clock, just marinating in the mountain of unfinished to-do lists. I always feel like I’m running out of time, even when I’m doing nothing at all. This is a deficit of my own making, I have come to realize. In 2023, I’m going to attempt to take back my time and use it wisely on things that matter to me. - Intention.
I hope to move with intention in 2023. It’s my goal to trim the fat and really take stock of what feels good in my spirit. Is what I’m saying “yes” to something I really want to do? And if it isn’t, why the fuck am I saying yes? I’ve been in the social justice space basically my whole life. Lots of folks have said this better than me, but so much of social justice work can be sacrificial, abandoning our own joy and needs for the cause, whichever one it is that you pursue. But, joy is foundational to justice. Forgive the platitude, but we can’t pour from an empty cup. This year, I hope to say “no” to obligation for the sake of obligation. - Balance
Anyone who has known me for longer than a few weeks probably knows that I’m a chronic workaholic. I fill every moment of my day with tasks — work tasks, home tasks, volunteering tasks, consulting gigs, personal projects. Even when I was in high school, I was in six different extracurricular activities at any given time during the year. If I’m always working, I won’t have to feel a single emotion for even one second of the day and that’s perfectly normal and healthy, am I right?
I have never known balance a day in my life, I’m in a constant cycle of hyper-productivity and burnout. I’m going to break that cycle in 2023 — mark my words. Now, this is reliant on my first two goals of being more mindful with my time and moving with intention. I have to start saying “no” to things I don’t want to do, so that I can say “yes” to the things I do want to do. Like committing to going to my spin class twice a week, and picking up dancing again, and writing more, and traveling down South more often to see my people. Leaving the goddamn house once in awhile. I want to start giving as much time to my personal life as I am to my professional life.
Those are my big 3 for 2023! They might be a bit cliche, but they’re light years ahead of my resolution in 2019 (stop taking the elevator if it’s less than three floors up). Maybe that means I am too. I’m excited to see how far I get, but it’s all the little moments while getting there that matter, right?
